What kind of father would I be if I held grudges against my kids? I’d be a no good son of a GUN, that’s who I’d be!!!
— Jake defending his actions after spending all day pouting in his room.
What no good SOB USED. MY. TOOTHBRUSH?!
— Jake’s detective skills at work.
A dirty, good for nothing 16 year older IS WHAT YOU ARE!
— Jake building up his son.
All you do is hit a little ball around and dress funny. THAT’S FOR F*GGOTS.
— Jake on the sport of golf.
I guarantee that he would make $60,000 a summer cutting grass!
— Jake on entrepreneurship.
You need a haircut, boy! You look like one of those kids from Kenya!
— Jake on Kenyans.
Have you seen him run?! He runs like a SNOWMAN.
— Jake on his son’s running style.
Me: “You know Kendall could go into PR because he’s good with social networking.”
Dad: “Yeah, I suppose that’s true. He’s just got to learn how to control his social behaviors.”
Kendall: “What’s PR?”
Me: “Public Relations.”
Dad: “Or in your case… POOR RUNNER. — Jake on his youngest son’s athletic ability.
Dad: “Yeah, I suppose that’s true. He’s just got to learn how to control his social behaviors.”
Kendall: “What’s PR?”
Me: “Public Relations.”
Dad: “Or in your case… POOR RUNNER. — Jake on his youngest son’s athletic ability.
